09-11-2001 WALKING FDR DRIVE

The white and grey ash was now wide upon the highway.  My feet dragging over the road, small stones beneath, while touching a bent guardrail.  Barely moving.  Maybe ten feet to see, thick murk and dark, stepping into nowhere.  Looking ahead others march through the ash clutching their souls, withering, with muted cries and fires […]

IN THE DARKNESS WE FIND OUR LIGHT

“Et lux in tenebris lucet”- and the light shineth in the darkness. The struggle, laying like scattered gravel on the road.  Moving carefully, I step through the infinite obstacles that make up my life.  Each step different.  Some are heavy, like marching through deep snow, others effortless, like steps in space. The obstacles I have […]

The Magical Power of Connection

Connection, that feeling of knowing I am here, intimately coupled to my essence and to the ever bending and twisting landscape around me, has always been my struggle. As a child, a frozen child, bathed in rivers of fear, and shame, I learned well the art of disconnection, to separate, to live outside of myself, […]

Post Traumatic Stress

  My post-traumatic stress has always felt like being trapped in a block of ice with translucent walls, with the parts that are me scattered like snow dust, laying everywhere and nowhere.  My mind arrested, but supersonic, seemingly functional, but off in many ways, ways that are not noticeable at a glance but become evident […]

Shedding Shame & Healing my Addiction

“Shame threatens the soul. Its signs appear on the face ‘like a flash of fire.’” Annibale Pocaterra, sixteenth-century physician and poet Where do the roots of addictive behavior lie? Is it some darkness that lives within a chosen few, damage to some chromosome that expresses endless want, a want so great that we reach, and […]